Not a bad day today. For one thing I was finally able to speak to my son’s social worker. I discussed the business of the blog, and my anxiety about my son, given that he has barely been in touch etc. Social worker was very nice. He said he would have a look at the blog with my son when he sees him next week. As this is all such a sensitive matter I had better not say any more about that. I asked for a meeting with the social worker following his meeting with my son, and he agreed to that. Just to find out how he was.

As paranoia is now stalking my every blogging step I might have to go back and do some more word searches to make sure there are no specific place names concerning contact with my son.

Anyway, back to today. I had quite a lot on, which is good. Had to go and buy a new washing machine in the morning. Mission accomplished. Got a Bosch and arranged to have it delivered next Tuesday. After that had arranged to help a friend of mine who has got herself into difficulties at the local day centre . She wanted me to attend a meeting with her that she would have otherwise found intimidating. It went OK. I spent an hour or so with her afterward discussing the outcome and other concerns she has about her life at the moment.

It was quite easy. It strikes me that maybe I could make a go of being an advocate, as I have a diplomatic nature and am good at relating well to both service users and staff. So I can be a good mediator. It’s definitely a thought.

I kind of wish there was some kind of professional qualification you could do as a service user to work with other service users. Proper training around mental health and working with vulnerable people etc. Maybe there is! I just haven’t managed to track it down yet.

Then I went to see friend A. But friend A has not been too good lately. She phones or texts me all hours of the day and night (not that I take all the calls) and then starts ranting about her parents or something. Also she’s been smoking cannabis. A big no-no for someone with her vulnerability. We got into a discussion about mental health issues today and she started to get really angry with me. I’m afraid a case of shoot the messenger, and also taking your anger out on the wrong person. Then she asked me to leave so I did. That was a little upsetting, but I wasn’t surprised. I could see the way things were going with the strange phone calls, and the last time I visited, when she was smoking weed.

Talking to people about their stuff, mental health issues, whatever, is endlessly fascinating to me though. I love trying to understand how people tick.

So I took myself off to Sainsbury’s for a therapeutic shop. I’m shopping and cooking quite beautifully now that I’m thoroughly grounded. No more packet noodles! Even made an apple crumble today.

Oh and yesterday the gynae check was reassuring. There is a small cyst which is probably a result of ovulation (so said the doc) on one of my ovaries, but the scan of my womb looked ‘pristine’…all pink and shiny.  So I need to go back in three months and have a trans-abdominal scan just to check whether the cyst is still there.

Tomorrow will try and write a letter to my son. Explaining the steps I have taken to make the blog more anonymous (and that I really didn’t expect him to be reading it!). Of course I don’t even know if it’s that that he objects to. I’ll mention it but otherwise talk about other topics.

Tomorrow I also have to attend a focus group of the Haringey User Network at the local library. Should see many friends, both old and new, there.

Cats miaow out a hearty hello to you all…much love and thanks for putting up with all my nonsense, Zoe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx