Some days are execrable. Some days mild. Yesterday I had agreed to go to the cinema with a friend who has a free pass (for two). We were going to see a Bollywood movie, but then she changed her mind and we went to ‘The Boat That Rocked’. This turned out to be the most appalling stinker of a movie, despite the usual stellar cast that Richard Curtis always seems to marshal. Be warned peeps! The worst thing about it was the virulently misogynist strain that ran through the whole sorry mess of unfunny ‘comedy’, pointless ‘plot’ and general confusion of what this film was for. Truly wince-making and a blot on the reputations of all who were involved, especially the idiot Curtis.

Seeing it in the less than palatial surroundings of Wood Green’s particularly horrible Cineworld didn’t help. This is truly a shithole of a cinema, but to be seeing such crap on top of it really didn’t help my mood.

This friend is going through a lot at the moment and to be honest I agreed to go more out of pity for her than out of any real desire to see her or the movie. I know that sounds terrible but it’s the sad truth. I kind of couldn’t wait to get away.

I worried all day about an exchange R and I had had the previous evening. We have a history of bad rows. I feared that it would escalate into one of those just at a time when I feel so horribly vulnerable. At the best of times I am profoundly disturbed by angry exchanges between us. The emotional repercussions for me can last for days. Just now is not the time to be embarking on any major conflicts.

At the same time I knew I could not just let this one go. So I raised it on the phone and we were able to talk it through reasonably calmly. If we can just manage to hear the other one out properly with respect for their experience and point of view, there is no reason why things should degenerate into the bunfights of old. On this occasion he did listen. I was relieved beyond words that we were able to sort it out and went to bed feeling better.

This morning I am still OK. Have packed my rucksack ready to go off to a small Essex village on an OA retreat for the weekend. Take care dear peeps. Love, Zoe xxx