Hi Peeps. Since my Romanian house guests left (all three of us having gone stark raving mad simultaneously) I haven’t wanted to live in my house any more. It’s full of ghosts and unwelcome memories.
I have to go there at least every other day to have a bath and feed the cats. Even this is a struggle.
Thank God for Richard, my much-maligned ex. He’s been an absolute rock. Keep tight with your exes folks! You never know when they’ll come in handy…
I stay round his house at night with his long-suffering family (ex-wife and fifteen year old boy).
What did brighten up my world since we last spoke was my Romanians coming back and us mutually declaring that there were no hard feelings, that we were all of us out of order and that things that were said should not be taken to heart or dwelt upon.
They are living in a hostel now, and having (ironically) much better sleep as a result. We are all well rested. We are all still intact. L in particular is looking great and she smiled at me in a way I hadn’t seen since we first became friends.
This was an enormous relief since there was some doubt in my mind as to whether their long-term plans were even to stay in London.
They are shaping up to be (almost) as weird as I am, and this does present challenges for our three-way relationship. At the moment we can’t even meet without someone else present as some sort of ‘mediator’. Which is OK with me, tho’ a little limiting.
I don’t do well in twos. I do better in threes but not in this particular case it seems. More I am not permitted to say.
I love both of these individuals dearly. They mean more to me than I can ever say.
I just hope both of them are fully cognizant of this and won’t use it to take advantage.
In the meantime while they go about their hugely important ‘business’ I have very little to do and a lot of time on my hands which can weigh heavily.
Since our experiences together I haven’t felt the same person that I was before. Can’t live in my own house. Can’t cook or shop for food. Can’t get very interested in any kind of voluintary work. Don’t actually see the (many) friends I know intellectually that I have.
Fortunately Richard and another guy I have known for fifteen years stepped into the breach. M does the ‘day shift’ babysitting Zoe, and R puts up with me at night.
I’m very lucky to have these two amazing guys in my life, even though one of them does represent a financial drain which the other considers wholly unacceptable.
The trouble with me is … I am basically a monogamous, one-man woman who nevertheless is too heavy a burden for one man to carry!
So I have to try and spread the load so to speak.
These men who think they are enough to satisfy two or more women make me laugh.
I’m not unhappy or happy. I’m sleeping really well, I laugh a lot when I’m with my people, and go silent and sulky when I’m on my own.
I hope you’re all well folks and enjoying restful sleep when you can. It is truly the most healing thing of all…
Home Treatment Team seem to have given up on me as I am never at my house when they come. No one could say I’m sectionable. I’m sleeping all the hours God sends without medication. I hardly even rap or sing on the bus any more. I am the very model of a modern Major General…
Heaps love. X