Hi Peeps. Yesterday morning I made the decision not to spend the day depressed. Every time a negative thought process threatened to overwhelm me, I simply replaced it with something positive. This may not work so well when the depression concerned is more of the organic variety (and has already taken hold), but when there are obvious triggers and there’s still a choice, this CBT lark can really work!
Along with this is a focus on acceptance of my reality and faith that my life is unfolding in line with the divine plan. The universe is pushing me toward less dependence on other people, and more on my Higher Power. Sometimes there is just no alternative. I am literally brought to my knees. Other people’s input is still essential but one is often left with stuff that others cannot really help me with, no matter how well-intentioned they may be.
I’ve been angry with my reality and fought it tooth and nail. Acceptance and faith are the antidote to this anger which so easily turns to depression when it can find no other outlet. They are probably also key in my avoiding another temporary flight from reality itself, otherwise known as psychosis.
It is eminently possible for me to become all I can be, despite having a troubled son, struggling with loneliness and having a major mental illness which makes it all but impossible to work for my living. For me to take this on board and work on acceptance can only do my son good. Wallowing in despair and raging at life is not good role modelling for him.
Children are great motivators. My son was born for a reason. Sometimes those things which rock our equanimity at its foundations can turn out to be the greatest gifts.
Spiritual development calls me, its imperative growing ever louder the more I try to shut it out. And I have this in common with everyone else. When I accept loneliness and don’t let it panic me, it opens up another channel. This too, is a gift. It’s fighting the inevitable that causes the pain and fear.
Today I choose to embrace life and not to fight it.