When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

Oh No, I Lost my Readers!

My dearest, darlingest loyal and lovely readers will all be gone, because I neglected the blog for over a year and only realised literally today that it wasn’t up…had to have words with wordpress and they quickly acted so I’m back but really regret the people who used to visit regularly and sometimes comment. Plus there are NO stats at all and I don’t know how long it’ll take to build a readership back up. Bummer.

It’s almost like starting from scratch really.

I’ll have to start reading other people’s blogs again. 

Reading that last entry it doesn’t honestly seem as if too much has changed in the last year and four months. I still isolate a lot. I still visit the same hospital cafe, still hang out on forums, actually you can add ‘a couple of suicide forums’, yeah, sorry for that.

I have a great Floating Support Worker – that’s new, he visits once a week. I have some decent voluntary work (funnily enough, at the organisation for which he works) doing admin. It’s not enough though, am currently seeking more, as I really need to get busier. I’m going mad from boredom and the loneliness gets to me too.

I completed Level One and Level Two Certificates in Administration (Business Professional) earlier in the year, at the Mary Ward Centre in Central London. That was fun though boring at times. Nice bunch of students.

So any of my cherished readers, if you are out there please drop off a comment to say you’re there…

And I wish my life wasn’t quite so boring, lol. 






Comments on: "Oh No, I Lost my Readers!" (3)

  1. Hi Zoe, Good to read you again !:) Your blog doesn’t seem to appear anymore when typing in the title, ‘Am I Still Ill’…I thought you’d deleted everything and it is quite by chance that I noticed this from you because it went via an old email address (of mine).

    Hope that you are having a good day.

    Love to you, Katy 🙂

    • Hi Kary, good to hear from you again honey. Yeah, I had to reactivate my blog as the domain name had expired. It’s now back on http://amistillill. wordpress.com

      I went into isolationist mode for quite a while now and am only now starting to communicate a little more openly. Paranoia can get the best of all of us at times.

      I hope this finds you feeling OK babe. I’m now off all meds and doing well. Have sacked all mental health workers though Ithey are having trouble taking ‘no’ for an answer. I think they frankly just like me too much to let me go easily.

      But that’s just tough. I’m moving on and there’s nothing they or anyone else can do about it.

      Am now engaged. Today is exhausting and stressful but I am surviving it…with a little help from my friends, new and old, old and young. The Internet has been a lifesaver for me.

  2. Oh no, Zoe…I’ve sacked them all too ! That means they have hardly any more people left to NOT help at all…I mean where is the voice of other Haringey people who have survived being incarcerated in that dismal dungeon…? HUN has no website…Haringey Mind doesn’t seem to have much autonomy and intelligent user presence…What stops people from writing openly about how things are for them/us in this borough ? Apart from you, of course, you brave wise soul…you must feel like you’re all alone with this circular, self-defeating battle but you’re not, my friend….as Ben Harper sang ‘you’ve gotta fight for your mind’…maybe most ‘others’ are too drugged to read and/or scared to write…(?)

    I have written to Survivors Speak Out using a pseudonym…yes, paranoia, tell me about it…! People are generally not terrified for no cause/reason… it’s all a reaction to trauma at the end of the day…zzz

    Great to read that you are around good people/friends at the moment, Zoe.

    I’ve started trying Omega 3 which involves eating fish…I’d prefer to be strictly vegetarian, really..tried the flaxseed version…trying to do as much physical exercise as I can, too, which definitely helps one’s mood (s).

    Anyway, nuff said…don’t want to bore you or make my comment longer than your blog post !

    Take care, love to you and your family, Katy

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