When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

Knackered

Been reading the site ‘ask a patient’, there’s many many ‘reviews’ of Abilify. Fairly scary stuff. It’s crazy how some of us are forced to live because this world sucks  so badly we have to be drugged up to bear it.

How much longer can I risk more weight gain on top of my existing clinical obesity and high blood sugar? Can I learn to tolerate the lack of focus and concentration? Will the sleep pattern/insomnia settle down? Am I even capable of losing weight anymore after years of pumping these toxins through my body?

Yet there’s no question Abilify is EXTREMELY  efficacious against the depressed mood and has put me into a much more desirable mindset. On that score it’s remarkable.

Today I was absolutely shattered. Had to take a cab to the mental health centre where I had an appointment to see the new psychologist. He was a heavily built, tall Yugoslav. I liked him but was almost falling off my chair with exhaustion and at the same time, restlessness. We had to cut the session short.

I want to enrol at the Mary Ward Centre in central London for a philosophy class (Nietzsche). But was physically unable to face the journey and ended up having a couple of blissful naps on the sofa at home instead. Abilify is also supplying me with colourful and interesting dreams lol.

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