When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

OK I Am So Done

I have just spent the  day and night from hell, alone, unable to sleep or eat, feeling sick, NO ONE was there for me, Ezra spent all our (my) remaining money on himself for his birthday so I don’t even have money for tobacco. He fucked off to his friend’s to ‘celebrate’, my God, yeah, why not celebrate the needless suffering you inflicted on a defenceless creature, oh go right ahead and be my guest.

Nembutal does not provide a peaceful painless death for ME. If it did trust me I would be long gone. Don’t get caught up in the hype kids!!!

Nor can I call an ambulance and go to hospital because it is full of sick people and I will likely emerge sicker than I went in. My ‘illness’ is not caused by virus, bacteria or being a bit overweight. It is caused by the malevolent forces in this universe that really have it in for me and anyone who tries to do the right thing.

How am I even rewarded for my lengthy labours on this blog? By having about an average of three readers a day. Worldwide that is. Fan fucking tastic. Way to make me feel like I don’t freaking exist, world.

They say if you can’t think of something nice to say, don’t say nothing. So that’s all folks.

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Comments on: "OK I Am So Done" (3)

  1. I hear you… yep… one can spend hours on writing blogs only to find no bugger ever reads the damn things which when one is feeling low really puts the cats amongst the pigeons making one feel truly valued – NOT. Unfortunately in my case I go into self destructive mode as I did last week when I suffered yet another breakdown – I just went NUTS wiping almost everything from my blog, deleting profiles from Twitter and Farcebook… a complete manic process during which I shut up a ton of barriers, cutting everybody out. Ha… when I say “everybody” that only means a handful of people since I may have had 300 odd followers on Twitter but only 2 or 3 of them were remotely interested in anything I had to say. And now I have nothing to say, having been bled dry, they ain’t interested at all.

    Oh, don’t you just LOVE life eh? Nice getting the boots put in. NOT.

    • Baz, you and I are almost exactly on the same page. I get censored blocked and banned from everyplace, seems ‘the wprld’ is one gigantic retard. Like we’re being slowly suffocated in one of Hitler’s gas chambers. Your comment on my blog is obviously so ‘subversive’ that my Android deems it unfit to read lol. Never fear I will read it when I get home on my PC. Also feel free to email if u want to vent ur rage to someone who shares it and understands. I wish u some relief and peace of mind today.

    • PS oh wow it let me read it now whoop de do. I wish I could shut myself down like a computer. Had just about enough of martyrdom, feel like switching up to ‘winner takes it all’. Alternatively I would take a non-chemically induced 24 hour sleep as a close second as it’s very clear I am universally despised and hated and that the feeling is frankly more than mutual. I have no reason to live whatsoever, and like you I find NOTHING of interest on the Internet anymore, only the endless redundant churning out of ‘new’ music. I wish nothing more than that the entire human population could take a vow of silence (no, writing doesn’t count).

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