When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

The Worst Happened…

…and can I honestly say that on some level I didn’t predict it, despite the confidence and assurance I had that my guy would walk free from the court yesterday.

It’s right here on this blog. ‘Much as I don’t want to be a prison wife a second time around (first time with Maurice, still banged up), I have to accept that what will be will be’. Obviously I paraphrase what I said as I’m not a fecking parrot.

I can’t lie, I cried a lot of big fat salty tears last night when I finally got home. I have a feeling he might have cried too.

But I slept my requisite three to four hours and woke up refreshed and it’s a new day and a new struggle to just do the next right thing.

I talk and communicate with people in so many different ways. Now may be the opportunity to change up how I do that. Less of the street corner, more of the studio mike type of thing. I will continue to keep this record though, because I do this for myself, not really for whoever reads it (barely anyone lolol).

So my first task is to try my best to chill and relax into this new day’s challenges, and when the moment is right sit down and compose a letter to my beloved in Pentonville. Provided I add his date of birth to the letter it will be delivered to him the prison told me on the phone yesterday.

I won’t be visiting him. I did all that with Maurice, I’m not going there again. There is a very useful facility called ’email a prisoner’. If he chooses to give me his prison number after he gets my letter, I can easily email him with updates every day and would love to have the chance to do that.

Alright peeps, try your best to enjoy your day.

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