When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

Tribute To Richard

Memories, so many, of our time together. ‘Ramblin’ Man’ by Lemon Jelly. All the Smiths and Radiohead tracks. So much music.
All those contacts with Jasper and everything you did for him.
Everything you did for both of us.
True I don’t need you in my life and possibly never did.
But that doesn’t stop me being glad and grateful for the association and all the support you gave.
You were a book I opened but couldn’t be bothered to finish…
I know how pleased you will be that Jasper is now a fine young man who’s embarking on his own path in life.
I know you are also happy that I’m no longer broke or needing handouts from you.
All the music you played me on the guitar. The deeply held values you shared with me.
If I’m indifferent to ever seeing you again it’s only because I know you feel the same.
The important thing to me was knowing that Lynn carried absolutely no ill will toward me and that actually we were good friends.
But forget you? How could I do that? Ever?
You will always remain a key player Richard. I told you you were a god, you were like ‘whatever’ and I am just the same. God, schmod. It is what it is.
You don’t need my love and possibly never did.
I wish you every good thing life can shower you with and you have my undying respect.
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Comments on: "Tribute To Richard" (2)

  1. “You were a book I opened but couldn’t be bothered to finish…” – a great line… might nick it and use it in a song I’ve yet to write and make sure you get credit for it. Royalties? Ha! I couldn’t sell a fart! Joking beside…

    Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been busy wading through and scanning my written archives and there are TONS of letters going right back to the early 90’s. I’m not gonna say it’s making me feel at all nostalgic but the thing that’s kinda surprising and upsetting me in equal measures is that ALL these people have since become total strangers and in most cases that was because of me just drifting away as I reached a certain point where they began to irritate or bore me or took the piss once too often out of me.

    There are too many people I wish I’d never met and who I would gladly wipe out of my memory banks if it were possible but for all the sour memories and effects, I never forget that each and every one played some important part in my life and development and always gracious enough to acknowledge them when need be. Kinda like a roundabout… people get on, and after a while, they step off only I find as I get older that nobody is replacing the empty seats.

    Some people are good for us, some are not but I do think it’s always important to never forget just what exactly they brought into our lives whether it be temporal or not. Every single one of my exes hurt me enormously and I don’t wanna see or hear of them again, yet I cannot deny deep down, I never stop loving them and they remain somewhere in my heart in spite of whatever happened. And if that doesn’t sound old fashioned and romantic, nothing will! 😉

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