When faced with my demons I clothe them and feed them…

All Is Well

He didn’t go jail folks. The case was adjourned and I got a letter saying I was required to appear in court next time (1st June). However if I make sure I go out that day how can they MAKE me? And he says that if I don’t appear, the case will be dropped.

We’re both doing well. Life can complicate matters that would otherwise seem simple. He’s not going anywhere and won’t give up. I occasionally feel like killing myself, because old habits die hard and that is my mind’s go-to ‘solution’. But mostly I am very, very good. If my posts here are sporadic it’s because good news really is no news and there isn’t nearly as much drama as before.

Seems like his inner resistance sort of died on him and I’ve seen an amazing personal growth spurt in him over the last week. I tried escaping to a cheap seaside hotel in my old hometown for a couple days over the Mayday weekend. The time alone and maybe the threat of losing me really did seem to focus his mind actually. As for me I had a strange and rather difficult time down there. Though I did at least get to see and chat with my son for the first time in, uh, years?

When it comes to love words do become inadequate to describe it. We play a lot of music on YouTube to each other. This guy is my twin. Just different enough to make things interesting but gosh. I have no choice about being with him and I actually like it that way. Being a man he likes to feel that he ‘chose’ me but really? Personally I don’t believe in free will but everyone should ‘do them’ as the saying goes.


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